I am having an awful time becoming "American" again. And honestly, I don't have much of a choice about it. Just living here in Chicago, in this location of the world, you are forced to jump back into your old routines. Some things are just different here, and not in all the numerous advantages you might assume.
I think in general, Americans are very lonely. We don't like to talk about it, but for most of us, I think we are. We tweet every three minutes and tag our friends in Facebook posts and use Instagram to make our lives look really interesting when in reality we are sitting on our couches talking to a plastic screen hoping someone in the virtual world will hurry up and like/retweet/hashtag/validate our post. We've traded in actual phone calls for text messaging....spending the time we have with people in-person glued to our mobile devices. All of these social media apps prove that we have an innate instinct to crave social interaction. We are a living species because we survive on the fact that we are communal. We survive through conversation. But I think the explosion of technology has, in its one way, also hindered our perception of adequate interaction and ultimately, our idea of community has been grossly disturbed.
Time. There is never enough time in America. And the busier you make yourself, the more valuable you are perceived. Time was the greatest gift that I was given in Uganda. Yes, we had jobs to do: homes to check, schools to visit, meals to cook, drives to drive, lessons to teach, events to plan, students to organize, uniforms to sew, gardens to tend to, donations to sort through, letters to write, generators and cars to fix, deliveries to make.... But we woke up each morning with the sun, never once looking at the time, sitting down with one another over a cup of tea and deciding, "Today we will accomplish this." And we would. And we would feel accomplished and use the rest of the day to love on one another.
I was never alone in Uganda. I hugged and kissed strangers. I held hands with my friends for hours. I spend eight hour car rides having eight hour conversations. I sat and sat and sat and sat with people until I felt I'd known them for years. I never went to bed alone or woke up alone. I never prepared or ate or cleaned up a single meal alone. I never did housework or yard work alone. I stayed up through the night talking through problems with strangers, listening to friends tell me about their lives. And I observed families who were closer than ever----who entertained themselves by entertaining one another. This is why divorce rates are so low. This is why depression is not prevalent. People spend more time caring for one another than caring for their things.
And peace of mind. How many hours do I spend worrying here?! Worrying about being home to catch the Comcast guy or getting to the Apple store in time for my phone upgrade or getting to the Currency Exchange to renew my city sticker. Worried the Pay to Park box ran out and tickets are waiting for me on my dashboard. Worried I won't get to the bus on time to catch the 6:48 train to get to work before my boss so he can see me working at my cubicle at exactly 7:59. We are fortunate to have all these things. But do they take away from our relationships, our time, our peace of mind?
Half of me loves my boiling hot showers, my instant coffee, my cable recordings of Shameless and Boardwalk Empire. I love curling up on the couch in my heated apartment, using Grubhub to deliver sushi at 1am........but honestly, I am usually alone while enjoying these things and even still wishing I was back in Uganda. Wishing I was barefoot peeling potatoes in the dark, learning how to dance by candle light with Zebia and Brenda and Allen and Moses. I laughed harder in those two months than I have this year.
Maybe the key to happiness is to find the balance between these two lives. The thing I wish all Americans understood: things can never replace people. Naakunda. I am so lucky to have loved them. Even luckier to know we are still loving each other.
^^^^^^A check out that scenery! All of those natural monuments. This concrete playground is not working for me. Missing feeling so small in such a great big green world.
Time to get some shut eye. My friends in Uganda are already waking up in tomorrowland.
They have got the absolute best names in Uganda. Babies are named after various things: after their fathers (same as us), after books in the Bible (same as some of us), after things describe their birth (For example, Monday or Storm), and babies are named after qualities their parents wish them to have.
Given: I met Given at New Times primary school when I was giving clothes to young ones who needed them. He received a pair of velcro sandals, a pair of dinosaur shorts, and a soccer ball T-shirt. Terrified of me the whole time, Given's mother explained to me that he was Given to her by God.
Innocent: Innocent was born with a lame leg. He has a crutch which allows him to get around on his good leg and he carries his small right foot in front. In Uganda, families who live in poverty and are not educated sometimes still wholeheartedly believe in witchcraft and being cursed. If you give birth to a child with a physical difference or cognitive challenge, families believed they have been cursed and can even abandon the infant or kill the child. This little boy was named Innocent to show that he is not at all cursed, that he is an adorable, exuberant, bright and innocent little guy.
Rejoice: Basically the cutest, sweetest, most fantastic name ever in existence.
Director: This little guy received his name because as a young toddler he was often found wandering the school grounds for food. He mingled with the high school boys and made new friends. They gave him his nickname as a joke because he was always patrolling school grounds.
Here are some of the other fantastic monikers I heard:
Active
Surprise
Compromise
Blessing
Peace
Hope
Faith
Gift
Given
Pearl
Monday
Friday
Storm
Night
Bright
Sight
Clever
Sacred
Shepherd
Truth
Treasure
Daughter
Kato (older twin)
Kakulu (younger twin)
Kiiza (born after twins)
Rejoice
Happy
Bonita
Jerusalem
Director
Doctor
Innocent
The children also all have Rukiga names. For example, I would introduce myself as Naakunda Tiffanie. Naakunda means "She has loved us."
Ariho = God lives
Ariyo = God exists
Muriisa = Shepherd
Tumwijukye = He is remembered
Ashaba = Lets pray
Tushabe = Come and we pray
Mutungi = God's Riches
Mapenzi = Abundance of love
Najuna = God saves
Omugiisha = Blessing
You can tell that (most) of the Rukiga names are about Christianity, although there are many that mean tall, old, dark, youngest, right-handed, born third, intelligent, rich, etc. Funny how my parents gave me a great middle name, as if I were African. Tiffanie Grace goes right along with tradition.
If I ever had a baby I'd totally consider using one of these names. I think Given is awesome and can totally grow on Americans. It's practically any boy's G name---Gavin, Graham, etc. Not too crazy and still completely unique. Rejoice because OMG so cute, I can't even. I want to have a million daughters named Rejoice. And Mapenzi because it is very sweet. It means that you have so much love it can't be counted in Swahili.
