I had NO IDEA that 2014 would give me too many things to love that I would never keep.
My little Asa. My first boy. My rough and tough bruiser. He's been my sidekick for only a short time now but I know that when he's gone I'm going to feel the silence in my house.
When Ree left, my mom had the hardest time. Right off the bat, Ree took to calling her Grandma all on her own. I mean, they bonded immediately over how small my mom's nose was. She bought her princess clothes and lip gloss and a Chuckie Cheese party fit for the Queen. She was ours. For a very short time. Because, really, she wasn't.
My mom begged me, "Don't ever do this to me again."
Every now and then I catch my mom daydreaming and she always replies, "I wonder what Ree is doing right now. Where she is. Who has her."
The grief in this process is as immense as the joy. I go into it fully understanding that these are not my children and that I am only being a temporary friend. But somehow, every time, they captivate me and I find myself in love with their tiny fingers and big brown eyes and not ever wanting to let go.
It doesn't get any easier. But it does continue to fill my days with joy. And I can focus on that.
If you've ever felt led to provide temporary care to a child in need in Chicago, please contact me via email at maxwell664@aol.com.
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