I think in general, Americans are very lonely. We don't like to talk about it, but for most of us, I think we are. We tweet every three minutes and tag our friends in Facebook posts and use Instagram to make our lives look really interesting when in reality we are sitting on our couches talking to a plastic screen hoping someone in the virtual world will hurry up and like/retweet/hashtag/validate our post. We've traded in actual phone calls for text messaging....spending the time we have with people in-person glued to our mobile devices. All of these social media apps prove that we have an innate instinct to crave social interaction. We are a living species because we survive on the fact that we are communal. We survive through conversation. But I think the explosion of technology has, in its one way, also hindered our perception of adequate interaction and ultimately, our idea of community has been grossly disturbed.
Time. There is never enough time in America. And the busier you make yourself, the more valuable you are perceived. Time was the greatest gift that I was given in Uganda. Yes, we had jobs to do: homes to check, schools to visit, meals to cook, drives to drive, lessons to teach, events to plan, students to organize, uniforms to sew, gardens to tend to, donations to sort through, letters to write, generators and cars to fix, deliveries to make.... But we woke up each morning with the sun, never once looking at the time, sitting down with one another over a cup of tea and deciding, "Today we will accomplish this." And we would. And we would feel accomplished and use the rest of the day to love on one another.
I was never alone in Uganda. I hugged and kissed strangers. I held hands with my friends for hours. I spend eight hour car rides having eight hour conversations. I sat and sat and sat and sat with people until I felt I'd known them for years. I never went to bed alone or woke up alone. I never prepared or ate or cleaned up a single meal alone. I never did housework or yard work alone. I stayed up through the night talking through problems with strangers, listening to friends tell me about their lives. And I observed families who were closer than ever----who entertained themselves by entertaining one another. This is why divorce rates are so low. This is why depression is not prevalent. People spend more time caring for one another than caring for their things.
Half of me loves my boiling hot showers, my instant coffee, my cable recordings of Shameless and Boardwalk Empire. I love curling up on the couch in my heated apartment, using Grubhub to deliver sushi at 1am........but honestly, I am usually alone while enjoying these things and even still wishing I was back in Uganda. Wishing I was barefoot peeling potatoes in the dark, learning how to dance by candle light with Zebia and Brenda and Allen and Moses. I laughed harder in those two months than I have this year.
Maybe the key to happiness is to find the balance between these two lives. The thing I wish all Americans understood: things can never replace people. Naakunda. I am so lucky to have loved them. Even luckier to know we are still loving each other.
Time to get some shut eye. My friends in Uganda are already waking up in tomorrowland.
Your pictures are BEAUTIFUL. And I feel you 100% in every word of this post. I find myself stuck when I realize how much excess we live in, how unhappy we are, and how alone we can be. You articulated your thoughts so well - it's helping me process more and more. I found myself nodding my head and not being able to stop agreeing with every word you wrote. God bless your heart for how you love them and your obvious impact in their lives - and furthermore just sharing your experience with everyone else here <3
ReplyDelete